Yesterday: I only wanted to make up the solutions for my TA course, but I didn't do that. I ended up spending most of the morning and afternoon doing things that are in rebellion against God, making many attempts to flee from temptations, only to fail miserably and got very depressed. I attended the mccf pre-study late afternoon anyway, but I was only able to joke around and trying to hide my emotions. Today: The events of yesterday continued to plague my mind in the morning. Finally went to the office in the afternoon to do the solutions. Half way through it, I got office hours, and two people came, and it was ok, except I really don't understand linear algebra... One person even stayed in the office (though only working at a desk) long after the office hours ended. Once I'm done the solutions, came back home for a brief rest, then headed out for the first myf brothers prayer meeting. Five people in total, and I thought that was ok, the relaxing atmosphere and the semi-open sharing, and of course, prayers. Some even wanted to have weekly meetings instead of the biweekly ones that I thought would suffice. So that's sort of good, I guess...though now there's more commitment...

Random notes...

• I was just flipping through some of the blog comments from the past (granted, I get very few comments, so I do treasure them when I get them). One comment that have sort of slipped my mind is from this post. I didn't think much of it at that time, and certainly I didn't know who wrote it...but now, after some digging through logs and stuff, something hit me, and I think this is the same author as the comment from this post. Is that right? I'm not sure...
• Another guy came into the office when he saw the other guy who was working at the desk after my office hours. He mentioned something that is possibly one of the funniest things I've ever heard about...it's a wind-up cell phone battery charger. Apparently you can wind it up for 30 seconds, and that gives you a 2-minute phone call! It's just...bizarre...and funny...
• I ended up downloading the first eppy of The Amazing Race (thanks to kcs). Boy, the double elimination was just too brutal...but I guess one good thing is that they finally went in the westward direction and landed in China for the first leg. Nice move.
• So yeah, I do realize that I'm receiving a lot more spiritual attacks and doubts ever since I came back to serve. That's kind of expected. I try not to let it bother me to a point where I would retreat from serving, at the same time expecting that God would turn these attacks around to get me growing, just like the last time. Now if only I can remember this in the future...
• I always feel like I'm sort of a fake mathematician, mostly because I have a very poor linear algebra background (cauesd by a poor prof back in sfu), and I just don't get a lot of the fundamental things...

I'm grateful to God for...

• His presence in the brothers prayer meeting;
• helping me get through today's office hour and in making the solutions;
• the chance to have interaction and fellowship with brothers and sisters for a bit of calm and joy amidst this troubling time;
• a refresher on the subject of temptations in reading The Purpose Drive Life; and
• not giving up on me.