Boy, what a strange and exciting day. I woke up pretty early, around 6:40, despite having a hard day yesterday. Started with yet another disappointment in falling into temptation, and getting angry with myself for being so nonresistant. Two services in the morning proved to be dizzying (physically and spiritually). Glad to see Jackson and Rebecca after the service, and I talked at length with them. Rushed to send mom home, then Kai and Sophie to New City (and got lost in between), then to Ben Thanh (again), this time for a very full lunch before heading to church for myf coworkers meeting. Yup, I went to one of those again...it's not that bad, I guess, but I was simply tired. Got home, received a surprising voice mail from Samuel telling me that he's here, and I was tired no more. Well, actually, it's a mix of tiredness of the day and adrenaline in wanting to see Samuel. Then rushed to get mom and arrived at Jeff's place where the 5 of us (including Cindy) just chatted for a while. Dinner at a seafood Chinese restaurant in Kitchener, more chatter, and then just like that, I had to say goodbye to Samuel already...sigh... Oh well, there must be a next time, eh?

Random notes...

• After the dinner, I was driving home, and suddenly I felt this strange urge in my throat, as if there's something that I want to say that just couldn't come out. It may be a strange juxtaposition of emotions that I was going through. I've just said another goodbye to Samuel, longing to see him and talk to him again...I'm facing a Bible study to prepare, first one in a long time...I'm still undecided on the wedding puzzle...I have a lot of research left to do...and I felt so far away from God. It's as if there's something God wants to tell me, and I just don't know how to listen to Him.
• Yes, I'm jumping back into serving God without fully resolving a lot of things. I just felt like I need to do something for God, and time seems to be running out. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not...but most importantly, I'm not sure if my heart is right or not in the sight of the Lord. One notable thing, though, is that temptations seem to come on particularly strong during days that I have these important fellowship meetings to attend...and that's just...well, I guess kind of expected. Cheap, but expected.
• I get cynical sometimes...like today, I was wondering, was I really worshipping God, or was I merely singing? How about those people on stage? I don't know.
• Wayne's email about his new card ranks high up there as one of the funniest emails ever.
• I really like this new table, actually...

I'm grateful to God for...

• the surprise meeting with Samuel, Jackson and Rebecca today;
• the reprieve of getting another week to prepare for supervisor meeting;
• directing a lot of my thoughts towards Him;
• giving me enough energy to last through this draining yet exciting day; and
• the opportunity to serve Him in the area of Bible study again.