Struggled the whole day trying to mark the assignment. It's not hard to mark, it's just tedious...like usual... Of course I'm supposed to be doing research and matroid and stuff, but didn't get around to doing that. The Bible study was surprisingly nice, I felt. It was unprepared, so we all studied the scripture at the same time, and just discussed our insights. It felt very free, and much more rewarding, I believe. Of course this means that we probably didn't go as deep as we possibly could, but this is still good. Maybe it works for really small groups, like the 4 people that we had today. In the Bible study, I also wanted to try something else...I wanted to look Francis in the eyes and see if any anger and pain swell up in me. And there were none. And I'm just very grateful to God for making this seemingly impossible transformation possible. I sort of feel ashamed that I didn't truly forgive Francis earlier, but it's all in the past, and it's a new beginning now, I think.

So about my mom's suggestion that I take a year off... Reasons for not doing it: taking a year off may mean that I most likely have trouble coming back; I have friends here that I want to care for; I'm much more comfortable with the Canadian environment than the Taiwanese environment. Reasons for doing it: I'm really tired of academia; I'm so far from my family that maybe it's time to heal the gap; the possibility to travel the world. Conclusion? I have no idea.

I'm grateful to God for...

• the healing that He has done in me in dealing with Francis;
• a wonderful time of Bible study this afternoon;
• helping me trudge through the marking today;
• continuing to challenge me to truly humble myself and cast all my worries to Him; and
• really calming me down whenever I start to panic.