It's a depressing day of sin and a little bit of recovery. Unfortunately, I have fed my mind with even more images of violence, and that's also feeding my imagination quite a bit. That's why it's going to be harder and harder to fully recover and truly leave this sinful past behind. No, I can't do it on my own. I need You, Lord Jesus.

Afternoon pre-fellowship with the sound room tutorial thingie, which only Ed and I showed up, even though this was scheduled long ago with lots of enthusiastic response from myf coworkers. That's kind of depressing. The fellowship was ok, the Bible study was a bit long, and Francis sort of ruined it with his usual egomaniac remarks and boasting of his strange happy-all-around secure life, which, you know, is kind of hard to take for someone who's currently depressed like me. I got even more depressed afterwards for no good reason, and decided to pass on the Korean dinner. Instead, I went home, find that David Lee hasn't had dinner yet, so we went to the "green place" for a meal, during which I dropped hints to hopefully inspire him to read the Bible...heh. I guess I'm a hypocrite there, because I have trouble reading the Bible recently...

I'm grateful to God for...

• showing me that He is not a soft God, but a firm God of justice who does not look at sin lightly;
• letting me live alone so as to be able to sing aloud worship songs, and also have time alone when needed;
• once again, reminding me that this struggle with sexual sin is far from over, and I really need Him;
• giving me the opportunity to share my problems with Ed in the prayer meeting today; and
• sharing a dinner with David Lee.