I attended the joint prayer and worship meeting of Christian clubs across campus. It was quite a challenging time for me. For one, I'm being around strangers again, with only a couple of familiar faces. Even though I knew all of us are brothers and sisters in Christ, the timid nature of me came out again, having a hard time connecting with them and praying together with them. Also, I see the passion that these people have for Christ, and I feel ashamed for my cold cold heart. Why don't I have the passion for God that they have? Is there something wrong with me? Or maybe I haven't grown and experienced enough of God? Another challenge is that the focus of prayers is mostly on other people...the students on campus, the people of the KW community, missionaries in the world, etc. I had a hard time putting sincerety into these prayers, even though Paul specifically told us to first and foremost pray for everyone (1 Timothy 2:1). In any case, I barely connected with James (he's definitely very passionate about God), had a long conversation with George (whom I still couldn't figure out his real name), and had a brief chat with Billy (he's just so fun and energetic, but at the same time so caring and godly). I'm very glad that God had brought me to this meeting to challenge me, and make new friends at the same time.

A few things to contemplate... (a) Mom wants me to take a year off to be with her. Initially I thought that was just crazy. But now...maybe I need this break...but then I would be giving up so much...sigh...I don't know. (b) Had a brief but very interesting exchange of emails with the Canadian organizer of the WPC team. I actually landed in 5th place for the qualifier among the 39 Canadian contestants, so I think there really is a good chance that I can go to Bulgaria... (c) I'm back to getting addicted to puzzles...but this time, only in moderation...maybe. (d) I'm really an extreme pessimist, am I not? I always think that I'm in such an incredibly bad situation that, even though good things happened, I still maintain this thinking about this tough life that I'm having...

I'm grateful to God for...

• the difficult lesson learned in cfc today;
• the challenges that He gave me in the prayer and worship meeting tonight;
• continuing the peace that He gave me and gradually removing my fears;
• giving me these tough days of trials and tests, which really demanded me to hang on to Him; and
• keeping this desire to seek Him burning.