Took an evening trip with the car that went nowhere for 45 minutes and 32.7 kilometres. I don't know...I started to realize that I'm slowly going back to my old ways again. I got depressed, I didn't know what to make of it, I had no idea what to do, and I had a mental breakdown. But then I returned to God, and once again commit to surrender all of myself to God. I kept saying, I want this, I want that...but God is saying to me, "deny yourself." O Lord, please take this rebellious soul back to you.

I think part of the problem is that I wasn't able to discuss my personal problems with anyone. The only person I'm comfortable discussing these with is Samuel, but I would much prefer to talk in person rather than electronically. So I could only wrestle with these problems on my own, and with God, whom I had a hard time hearing from, I have to confess...

To only a God like You...do I give my praise.