I have so many contradicting emotions coming to me all at once that I might go crazy soon. There's the joy of rediscovering a worship CD that I did a long time ago, but there's also despair that I couldn't sing these songs with honesty from my heart. There's the joy of having new friends, but there's also fear of losing old friends. There's the joy in thinking about all the travels and meeting new friends from April and beyond, but there's also the great burden of this second stage comps. There's the joy of temporarily conquering a sin recently through the power of the Holy Spirit, but there's also the fear of the inevitable fall again.

Surprisingly, I come to a point where I'm actually afraid to go out to eat again...hopefully this is just temporary, because I'm just too lazy too cook at home...

During fellowship today, I'm once again reminded of a thought... I should be thankful that God is keeping me alive, for I have not bear fruit, and the ax is seemingly ready to cut me off... The Lord is having mercy on me, giving me second chances maybe too many times...