So...what do you know? My mom turns out to be kind of a psychic (well, through the help of the Lord, clearly). We were having dinner and had a long chat again, which, as usual, is mostly her talking. We started by talking about the Bible study today, but the subjects evolved into precisely the ones that I've been thinking too much about and have been depressing me for so long: trying to please men instead of God, and doubts and inexperience in the long journey of faith. She still has some misconceptions about me, but I pray for the courage to talk to her about what's been going on in my mind. The Lord is funny, isn't He?

Being put into the same Bible study group, my mom quite liked Samuel, actually. Funny how her perception of Samuel is completely different from mine. In any case, I think I have truly annoyed Samuel, so I shall retract back to my own cocoon, back to the reactive state instead of being so proactive. I still like Samuel, I guess I just need to learn not to be so attached to him, just like what I did to other people before. As an aside, it was funny that he basically copied my joke about "vengeance belongs to the Lord" thingie from last week and made this his mantra when we tease him about Laura.

So about today's Bible study. I still had some butterflies prior to the actual study. Once we got going, however, things were good. It was a wonderful experience to deliver the message from the Lord to my group members, as they all participated in studying this very difficult passage. But it was indeed very tiring, and by the end of it, a few of us were basically drained, and not able to continue on with life discussion questions. I love this group, and I love being used by God as His instrument. I pray dearly that I am doing this for the pleasing of the Lord, not for the pleasing of men, for surely it is impossible to please all men and earthly applauses are worthless in heaven anyway. That's one lesson I'm truly hoping to learn.