O Lord, have mercy. Three phone calls from mom in one evening. The gist of the first phone call...Mom: "Can I go visit you?" Me: "No." (repeat). The gist of the second phone call...Mom: "I'm going to visit you on Saturday!" Me: "Aaaaaaahhhhhh." The gist of the third phone call...Mom: "I'm leaving tomorrow, arriving on Wednesday!" Me: (drops dead). I think I have the right to become crazy at this point.

So what have I been depressed about? Spiritual doubt, dealings with friendships, and now my mom coming over. And yes, I've been staring into space very often these days, now getting caught by Shengjun in the office today.

I guess all that time (i.e. my entire life) spent mostly alone is now really catching up to me. Now I get caught with having too little human contact, and afraid to contact people as well. Sigh...