So very tired right now. Had a frustrating morning where I couldn't even solve a convex problem. Afternoon went slightly better as the guys just basically told me the answer to almost all the questions... Now all I need is to write up the solutions tomorrow morning (hopefully there will be enough time for that).

I was going to skip Amazing Race, but then I decided not to, and I didn't regret it. It was a slightly tedious episode, but the ending was so good, even though it was so sad. And I just watched Jeopardy on tape, and Ken finally lost...hehe. The expression on Nancy's face is just priceless when she saw that Ken had the wrong answer to Final Jeopardy. End of an era that started half a year ago. Let's just hope that nobody goes a fifth as long as Ken....

I need a break.

I was really dizzy when I woke up this morning, and I don't even know why. I slept quite a bit, and I was still sleepy, and my head was spinning.

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get another question done for the assignment. Sigh... This is so depressing.

Looks like tomorrow I'll have to miss the Race and look at it on tape...

Roger's sick, and I think I'm now affected...sigh...that's really too bad.

I think I'll do all the shopping early next year. I want to buy so much stuff, though, so I have to wonder if I'm getting back to being materialistic.

There's this nice calendar from church today, and it's apparently water and dirt proof...

Yesterday was really bizarre, I guess that's the word to describe it. Started with a really bad sleep, which ended at 10AM. Then a mad dash to complete the preparation for the drama night stuff, pack, and go. The stuffs I brought are really heavy and really expensive (and really dependent on the strength of the laundry basket). Yen's house was the next destination, where there was lunch and 2 Shrek 2 viewings. Francis and Bobby came (in reverse order), and after Francis completes his PowerPoint presentation and the long-awaited return of Maggie and mom, we head off to Fairview. I spent a lot of money shopping (even though I didn't bring anything home), was tired, and panicky about the night. Then another mad dash to church and the drama night began. The night went pretty smoothly, I think. It wasn't the disaster that I thought it would be. The team that followed my suggestion to use music and labels won, and that turned out to be my team...coincidence? And next time, a new celebrity judge. Finally, the night ended with a final mad dash to get lots of pictures scanned. I was tired and was running on adrenaline by then. Oh yeah, I wore a light-blue shirt with brown pants, which was something new and disasterous, I think. I should be on that What Not to Wear show... Of course all through the day, I'm always thinking, I should be doing homework right now...

Today, church, no show for Francis, go to the Yen house again, eat lunch, send MuTao to bus station, home, sleep, wake up, do laundry, eat dinner, and now facing the challenge known as convex optimization. I'm looking at this assignment, and once again, I want to cry..........this is just too hard for me. I can't do anything. Sigh...my life, wasting away again...so much for the "how to plan" sermon this morning...

My schedule for the coming days: Convex opt assignment is due on Wednesday, but before that there is Amazing Race on Tuesday (really bad timing, I'd say). After Wednesday, it's marking assignment that is due on the following Monday. Then two days of studies will lead to the exam on Thursday (so fast! so scary!). After that, another week will go by filled with slumber parties (without Sleepy Beauty) until Thursday when I fly far, far away. To say that I'm already burnt out is an understatement, and to say that I'll be burned to ashes is another one. Can't wait until it's all over and I start the cycle of busyness again...

7 hours, 3 cities, 1 big shopping trip, 0 parking space in London, 1 big search for dinner, 5 legs, 6 ribs, 5 drinks, 1 cake, 263.2 kilometres = MuTao's birthday trip. I was driving a bit too fast, I think, but Roger wasn't saying much (for the ride there) and I was hungry (for the ride back). At least the weather was good. Ended up Swiss Chalet for dinner, although we almost went for the Waikiki Polynesian place which we thought was a Japanese place. Nice dinner, and now I'm home while the rest of the gang goes karaoke. Okedokie...

Ironically, I feel pretty sad today.

Can I say that I feel like I'm wasting my life away?

Started with a supervisor meeting which was ok, I guess. Nothing too exciting. Then came the letter in the mailbox. The letter is supposed to tell me my TA next term and the funding stuff. Well, before I opened the letter, I told Berkant that I better not be TAing integer programming next term, as I put that down on my list of choices just because there's nothing good to TA for. I opened it up, and guess what, I will TA integer programming next term.......... That was a sad comedic moment there... In any case, there's going to be a new professor here who will arrive next year and teach this course. He's from Hungary (presumably), so chances are, it's going to be a bit hard to understand what he says. Also, like all new professors, he's an unknown, so I really don't know what to expect from all of this. I'm really not that good at integer programming, even though I got decent grades for it when I took the course. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. This also kills my plan for a possible 3-course term. Another thing that was on the letter was the funding stuff, and I find that I get an Ontario Graduate Scholarship in Science and Technology, even though I didn't apply for it...so...I don't know...that's kind of weird. In any case, most of the money next term will come up front at the beginning of term, so yeah, that's sort of good for post-holiday shopping, I guess.

Spent a lot of the day with the Chinese group for convex optimization homework. I'm still way way behind them, and I still suck at it. I just wasn't trained for this kind of stuff. In any case, with mostly Shengjun's help, I got done 5 out of 17 parts of the assignment. It's due next Wednesday, and I pretty much not going to do anything tomorrow and Saturday (and possibly Sunday), and next Tuesday is Amazing Race day, so I'm very very worried. By 6, I was really tired, so I excused myself and went home.

I'm still in a mental disaster, and now May asked if I would be the chair next term...hmm...probably not. Last time I tried, it was one of the most horrible days of my life.

Updated the dormant photos page. Speaking of which, the guy from UW Bulletin emailed again, asking where did my photos go. Of course my webspace was gone, so now I just upload the winter photos from two years ago to my UW webspace. Should be in the bulletin next week, he says.

More words came out regarding the coworkers stuff. Just hope that these are not just words, but will really change things around.

Really don't know what to do about this convex opt assignment thing. I just started, it's due next Wednesday, and people are saying that it's really really hard...

Woo! Snow! Yeeha!

It was a great relief that the convex opt exam will be an open-book exam. Now I should worry that the exam is going to be hard...

Boy, I haven't travelled long distance for a while, didn't I? Going to try my hands on it again this Friday...hope the weather cooperates...or not...

Finally finished marking this assignment. The last two question that I marked aren't too bad, as long as the students don't get too creative... It's strangely unsatisfying that after so much work, so many people are getting perfect scores...

Amazing Race tonight. Convex optimization assignment tomorrow. Yikes...

Some email exchanges regarding the youth group last night. I don't know if I did the right thing, though.

I'm marking this question that is so difficult to mark that it makes me want to cry. The first three paper took 58 minutes to mark. The next three took 34 minutes. And after marking 12 papers (two of which are not complete, so they got the easy 1/5), I spent 144 minutes already. This is the question where almost everyone has a different way of doing it, and everyone has a different way of screwing it up (even with something as little as overlooking a -1). This is just sad...

Just found out a cool thing to do with the html thingie where I can add the same header and footer to every page in the website without doing much. This is going down as another thing on the list of things to do for the kwcacmyf website overhaul.

Mom called, and it was ok until mesister took over for one minute...sigh...why does she have to be like that?

I finally booked my planet tickets! The itinerary is the same as what I wrote last time, except I connect through Edmonton instead of Calgary when going to Vancouver. So this will be 15 days, 5 provinces, and lots of kilometres.

I have marked two questions now, but those are the two of the easier questions, so I'm not sure how the rest of the marking will go... I got to a point where I just wish some of the students would not hand in their assignment at all...so difficult to read what they write...

Need to exercise. And eat fruits and vegetables. And stop unhealthy thinking. Of course it all sounds so hard to do................

All I can say about the past couple of days is that I was just incredibly sad, marking was at an incredibly slow pace, and there is a sense that things are just falling apart. I just couldn't get myself to work, always feeling tired and sad and stuff. I don't know.

Tentative Christmas schedule follows. (Nothing is set in stone yet, I still need to get confirmation on whether or not I have a place to live in Vancouver. The total cost right now is $660, which went up from about $573 a couple of days ago. So, need to decide soon or the cost will go beyond my limitation.)

• December 16: Fly to Saskatoon via Winnipeg.
• December 25: Fly to Vancouver via Calgary.
• December 30: Fly to Toronto and go home.

My list of things to do is so long, and yet I have so little time to deal with them. Meanwhile, I have worked on some new things at the MYF website. It's only a start.

I'll say that The Amazing Race yesterday was a bit disappointing, even with Iceland (which is on top of my "to go" list). Oh well... That Richard Branson's show wasn't too bad, though. He just did the stunts that the contestants did, which is pretty cool. That was pretty funny how he tested the contestants on whether or not they would go over Victoria Falls on a barrel. The one that decided to do it was eliminated, because he didn't think that it was enough of a risk, and later Richard told him that they would have died if they did do it...

Having a hard time marking the assignment, quite frankly. I don't think I'll aim for the one week mark now, even though that would be nice and give me more time for my convex opt assignment. And by the way, I got some tiny new results in research, all of which were thought up during sleep and shower, I think...

I am still out of touch with the people around me, I'm afraid.

Weird dreams...

Before the class after my last convex opt assignment was due, I had a dream where I got the assignment back already, and I got like 2 or 3 marks (out of 10 or 15 or 20) for each question. And obviously I was scared.

I dreamed that Ken Jennings lost on Jeopardy, and I almost missed it.

I dreamed that I was in Taiwan, running around because the bus routes have changed, and lots of other things have changed as well.

I'm feeling pretty numb right now, don't even know why that is. Maybe it's because I just received the next assignment to mark. Maybe it's because I have no idea what's going on in convex opt. Maybe it's because I felt lost. Maybe it's because life really isn't making any sense.

Mom called yesterday saying that if I don't want to go back to Taiwan, then don't go. Ok, so that's off the hook. Now thinking if I want to visit Thian-Peng or not. Maybe swing by Vancouver as well.

Amazing Race starts tonight. I don't get that excitement anymore, though...probably because of the short break from the last race.

I think the phrase "like you've never seen before" is being so overused, like you've never seen before.

Why is it that a lot of people think that if other people do not do things their way, then these people are stupid?

I got a laugh from the audience when I presented this proverb (18:28, MSG), yet I find it so true...

Even dunces who keep quiet are thought to be wise;
as long as they keep their mouths shut, they're smart.

Strange labels...

On the Shrek 2 DVD back cover: There is no connection between the segment Far Far Away Idol which appears on this DVD, and any contest or talent show which has appeared or presently appears on television.

On the ink: Keep out of reach of children, and do not drink.

On the MYF coworkers meeting discussion list: What's the balance of fellowship?

The heater was turned out for the first time (that I can feel) yesterday morning. The long winter awaits it...

There are just too many things that I need to do and think about, and I keep forgetting what they are...

The Amazing Race starts this Tuesday....so soon...

Finally had a slightly more relaxing weekend. This won't last long, however, as another marking assignment comes in on Tuesday. Let's see...what did I do this weekend? Laundry, devotional sharing, 35 dumplings, 75 pictures, a floppy drive that refused to work, met with Jackson for the final time, went to Costco (coincidentally bumped into Francis), bought Shrek 2 and ink, and of course agonizing over my mental health.

I downloaded and installed Mozilla Firefox, and then uninstalled it. Reason: can't get scrolling to work. Now the IE is acting stupid by not seeing that it's not the default browser anymore, and the default browser is nothing. Can't get the best of two worlds...

Parents are pressing hard for me to go to Taiwan, but I don't know if I want to do that. Being able to finish everything by 9th is a big plus, but I seriously don't want to go. In unrelated note, I think I have pretty much decided to go to Pittsburgh instead of Hamilton for the Victoria weekend next year.

A brief summary of the last three days...

That was an horribly torturous assignment experience. Hunger, sleep deprivation, exhaustion, huge headache, handache. Good thing I got the four fellows from China to get through this...otherwise...I couldn't imagine what would have been like.

I have been living in the past. On Thursday the 11th, in the supervisor meeting, I said that it was the 10th. So I didn't remember Rememberance Day... Today, I sent out the MYF email with both the subject line and the body line including the date November 6 2004... I was too tired to give out a correction email.

Just celebrated the finish of the assignment by going out to celebrate Francis' birthday where he was, well, Oblivious. I think Regan Burns had a really cool job when he handed out cash like that...

Obviously I'm still struggling with the convex opt homework. I spent the working daytime at the office, but that didn't give me any new solutions, even after talking to Shengjun. Funny thing is there's another person in the office who was asking me how to do some of the questions... Now I'm at home, came up with the answer to one small part. Still 16 more parts to go...I certainly hope that the due date is extended..... By the way, I don't have much time to do research, but I did have a small idea which may work. Then again, I don't have time to check it...so...yeah. Assignment marking has been delayed until Tuesday.

So there was this pizza party at DC which celebrates Waterloo getting #1 on MacLean's ranking. Well, I didn't eat the pizza, there were too many people. I did get to take some (analog) pictures, though. It's amazing (or not) how many people are there for the free pizza... Anyway, here's a thought: When I was in SFU, it was #1 on the ranking; now that I'm in Waterloo, it got #1 on the ranking. So does it have something to do with me? Probably not...but it's an interesting thought anyway.

There is this question of whether or not I should go back to Taiwan this Christmas break. Obviously the parents want me to go, and obviously I don't want to go. Then again, my school stuff essentially ends on December 9th, so that does leave a lot of time...so I don't know.

Self reminders...

Bring scanner back.

Make a calendar.

Change address for OHIP and the tax people.

So very incredibly frustrated about the convex opt assignment. So far, I spent 3 days, and got 0 out of 9 questions. I even got a little help from Berkant, and that still didn't work. Sigh...I even started this thing early. This is sort of ridiculous. Then again, I try not to worry about things like this...so hard.

Ah, the snow. The snow! Wee! Well, it was blowing snow when I walked back home, though, so that wasn't too much fun. Other than that, we had some really beautiful snowflakes today, and just a tiny bit left on the ground. Ah, the beginning of 5 more months of snow...

Francis was here doing graph theory. Man, he needs a ton of prayer.

Wasted so much time and so many CDs (4) in trying to copy a CD I borrowed...well, I guess that's what I get for doing illegal stuff. Really, it used to be just fine, maybe it's XP's fault, I don't know.

So very frustrated with the convex opt homework...After a weekend, I've done only about 0.4 of a question. Too hard. Going to school early tomorrow to start asking around.

Supposedly the snow will come tonight, and if so, I'm bringing my digicam to school to get photos. Maybe.

Woke up one hour late this morning because I set the alarm wrong. Good thing I was still on time, but I skipped the shower...(nobody noticed, though.)

A note about the new movie The Polar Express. I saw its commercial on TV a while ago and forgot to comment that they have this scene which is definitely a reference to Back to the Future III. In the scene, you see the train (same shape as the one used in BTTFIII) coming to a stop directly towards the camera. Well, not sure if I'm going to watch this movie, but it certainly looks interesting. Robert Zemeckis is the director for both TPE and BTTF trilogy, of course.

My trivia page is certainly getting a bit more attention than I thought. It was supposed to be this tiny little page hidden away, but now I got at least three strangers responding to the questions. I don't know how they found it...

Here we are at around 4AM, and I just finished the marking. I have to
say that this is horrific work to do, but I only need to do it two
more times... Spent the entire week on this. Not worth it,
definitely. Next time, I mark faster. One other thing to note is
that I'm starting to use a lot of the MXC lingo during marking. For
example, I use "uh...let's go!" whenever I start another round of 3
papers to mark (which seems to be more of a Lemmings reference, I
guess). Alternativesly, I would use "get it on!" in the same
situation. Another example is "well, you're wrong!" (which seems to
be more of a Hitchhiker reference, I guess). One final one would be
"right you are, ___" (filling the blank with a student's name).

Of course I could have started marking on this last question earlier
today, but then I sort of got Francis to my place and we sort of
wasted the time watching television and playing Scrabble...speaking of
which...

Here are the Scrabble results (the two capitalized word afterwards are
the longest word in the game and the highest-scoring word in the game,
respectively):
Round 1: Francis 214, Me 218, so I won. ENGINES, FREAK.
Round 2: Francis 248, Me 155, so Francis won. LIQUID, TIFF (such a weird word).
Round 3: Francis 179, Me 238, so I won. (Too many 5-letter words), JAB.
Round 4: Francis 233, Me 216, so Francis won. CRINGER, LINK.
So the conclusion is, we're all tied up. Also, whoever starts the
game, wins the game.

Looks like I forgot to mention the supervisor meeting on Thursday. It was a milestone day as I finally finished presenting the 3-trees paper, which started at least a month ago... Sad thing is, now I have to do some "creative" thinking on my own, which is something I have trouble doing. So, research still not going well.

There is a chance that I may be going to Pittsburgh in May...

Baked some cod this morning, which is something I bought yesterday (pretty expensive fish, I'd say). I guess when they say "lemon pepper cod" on the label, there really are tastes of lemon and paper in there...pretty strongly, might I add. So that sort of didn't taste good.

Started working on the convex opt assignment, and it's getting to me already. So frustrated that the only thing I could do is one small part. Sigh...at least this time I got a head start on it, so I can ask Shengjun a lot earlier...hehe.

Ripped quite a few CDs this morning and downloaded WinAmp5 to do some organizational things with all the music. Quite fun, actually. Trying to fill up the new hard drive as quickly as possible...

I think my self-isolation may go on until December 9, which will be the day of my last exam this year...

Berkant said that I looked "fresh" today, even though I had only 3 hours of sleep. Well, I did have a pretty good sleep, actually...

Just in a bitterly depressed mood once again. I don't know...this may never go away.

Meanwhile, I think I'll skip The Incredibles for now.

Here we are at around 4AM, and I just finished the marking. I have to say that this is horrific work to do, but I only need to do it two more times... Spent the entire week on this. Not worth it, definitely. Next time, I mark faster. One other thing to note is that I'm starting to use a lot of the MXC lingo during marking. For example, I use "uh...let's go!" whenever I start another round of 3 papers to mark (which seems to be more of a Lemmings reference, I guess). Alternatively, I would use "get it on!" in the same situation. Another example is "well, you're wrong!" (which seems to be more of a Hitchhiker reference, I guess). One final one would be "right you are, ___" (filling the blank with a student's name).

Of course I could have started marking on this last question earlier today, but then I sort of got Francis to my place and we sort of wasted the time watching television and playing Scrabble...speaking of which...

Here are the Scrabble results (the two capitalized words afterwards are the longest word in the game and the highest-scoring word in the game, respectively):
Round 1: Francis 214, Me 218, so I won. ENGINES, FREAK.
Round 2: Francis 248, Me 155, so Francis won. LIQUID, TIFF (such a weird word).
Round 3: Francis 179, Me 238, so I won. (Too many 5-letter words), JAB.
Round 4: Francis 233, Me 216, so Francis won. CRINGER, LINK.
So the conclusion is, we're all tied up. Also, whoever starts the game, wins the game.

Definitely not in a good mood today. Horrible assignment to mark, horrible assignment that I got back (that was so so horrible), supervisor meeting tomorrow morning which I've done nothing about, and to add to that my other problems...sigh...

So there was this election yesterday, which no definitive result came last night, as expected. Well, this morning when I woke up, they have Bush at 254 votes and Kerry at 252 votes with 270 to win and 20 in Ohio up for grabs. Then I was watching The Price is Right, and in the middle of this new game that I've never saw, they have this special report which says that Kerry had just conceded... So, two things: (a) Sorry, people of Ohio, who couldn't become the new Florida this time around; (b) That was such a cool game that I missed on TPIR...sorry, Kerry, but you messed up the timing... (By the way, they have a double showcase winner today...)

Getting myself into self-isolation mode for the rest of the week. That means no going to the movies for The Incredibles premier...

Scrabble tonight.
Round 1: Francis 247, Me 256, so I won. Before counting the bonuses, though, I won by 1 point, so that was a really close one. A prophetic sign of tonight's election, I guess. That was one of the toughest games, as very few vowels turned up early. Longest word: Queens. Highest scoring word: Ally (triple word score).
Round 2: Francis 204, Me 201, so Francis won. Yet another close one. A much easier game. Longest word: Rewind. Highest scoring word: Peek (triple word score with double letter score on the K).
So, we each won one, not bad. First games of Scrabble played at my place (certainly the first one this semester). Good.

So there's supposed to be an election tonight. Not really interested, quite frankly. I guess I'll just find out about the result tomorrow. Or not.

Finished marking a third question of the assignment, leaving the two toughest ones for last. Not feeling good about this.

Last night I was so tired that I went to sleep at around 9:30. I was quite tired all day for some odd reason. I did finish marking a second question and started on a third, which is just horrible to mark. Also, a series of television programs made it impossible to take a nap, so yeah, that was that.

Trying to defrag my disk, and it took 6 hours already, and still going... Actually, I don't know why I started to defrag my disk, but anyway. By the way, I certainly saved a lot on that external hard drive. One source priced it at around $260. This is not the disk that I'm defragging, of course.

Maybe I am really out of touch with the world, and my friends.

Finished marking one question last night. Still behind schedule, though. Not sure what I might do today...I'm not so sure about the idea of marking in the office, so looks like I'll need to mark at home, hopefully get 2 more questions done.

I do sleep quite a lot, and still feel quite sleepy. I really don't know why.

Really don't know what to do about my addictions... There is a sense of hopelessness.