Apparently my temper isn't as tame as I thought it was...

Marking: fun. Students: suck.

Did a test run at the taxes...it looks like this year, I'll be getting a refund of...wait for it...0 dollar! Woo!

What am I going to do on a special February 29? Church! Marking! Reading paper! Woohoo!

Experiencing one-way communication...sigh...

So I'm reading this contrast between the story of Babel and the beginning of Abraham. The main contrast is that in Babel, the people there want to make their name great and ended up in confusion, while with Abraham, God promised to make his name great, and he ended up being the father of many nations. Ok, great. Now the academic community is pretty much all about making a name for yourself. Does that mean that I shouldn't be here at all? Then again, this is pretty much the issue in all other occupations, isn't it? Oh well...if I stay in academia, it's going to be real tough to put this issue to balance...

I think I put my gloves in the closet for a month now...maybe it's time to bring them out to use?

Finally finished reading the big Genesis file.
Finally finished reading one paper in the last three weeks.
C&O potluck tonight. Talked to a few people. Mainly Eddie and Omran, I guess. Wish I took more pictures. I took 3. That's infinitely more than last year's potluck, though.
I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me... (ahem, sorry, need to stop repeating a donkey.)
Why bother with a PhD?

What is going on here?

It's very dangerous to be relaxed and happy.

2004 Sleep Deprivation Night #2

Finally! Paper finished! This time, 45 minutes before class time...nice...Here's what's been done.

Extension helps...especially with procrastination.

Sometimes, newspaper headlines amuse me for no reason...here are two:

--> Martin puts job on the line. (Hmm...I did that?)
--> Five countries close to B.C. chicken. (Great, that's five more countries that I can't go to...get it?)

Woohoo! Essay due date extended! Two more days of agony...

End of a seemingly endless day... Start of another seemingly endless day... When will this ever end?

9 hours, 3 cities, 2 supermarkets, 32 dollars saved by Aaron, 1 overpriced dinner, 42 litres of semi-overpriced gas, 293 kilometres = first trip outside of Waterloo-Kitchener-Cambridge area since January 9. Not bad. As always, need sleep now...

8 hours, 8 photocopied pages, 1 confusing construction, 2 unsolved base cases, 2 chocolate minis, 1 Francis.

If I ever get a grade for designing a schedule, it would be a failing grade. Just look at what is coming up here...

This afternoon: Brothers Bible study.
Tonight: Coworkers dinner etc.
Thursday: Start working seriously on the paper due next Monday.
Friday: Take people to Toronto (only planning half a day, but will probably last the entire day).
Saturday: Supposedly there should be a pre-study for the Bible study, and then there's MYF at night.
Sunday: Sunday service in the afternoon. Desperately trying to do the paper due the next day.
Monday: Paper due. Probably won't finish until 5 minutes before class time. And, probably another sleep deprivation day.

This is not counting the paper proposal due the Monday after, and the papers that I have to read for the next day. Plus the supervisor decision that is still in the air. Plus the possible takehome midterm some time within the time frame mentioned above. Plus the marking madness that will begin on the coming Friday. Plus tons of stuffs... Sigh... Am I complaining? Yeah, sort of... What can I do about it? Pretty much nothing...except do everything, I guess...

Ah, who knew that the end of Nemo would make someone so sad over real life...

Programming integers? Not so easy... Left the office at 9:30PM, precisely 12 hours after I arrived...sigh...

Due to the heavy workload ahead, I really wanted to cancel the bbs this week. However, I also wanted to go to Toronto on Friday, so that wouldn't make sense if I cancel bbs due to work. So, long story short, I'm still going to go ahead with the bbs, and the Toronto. Sigh...I must become a workaholic real soon...

Twas a night to program integers...again.

I need a long post to cover up the small posts below...

Saturday February 14
Supposed to be doing homework, but ended up cooking a big meal (3-course meal, I might add) and slept for most of the day, instead of, you know, programming integers. The fellowship in the evening was uncomfortably funny, but thankfully I wasn't paying too much attention to it. Visited Eugene's shack afterwards, which is so much cleaner than mine, and so much less claustrophobic.

Friday February 13
Second of the two-part presentation is done. Going through one giant confusing proof in 30 minutes from memory? Not too bad... At least Furino said he was "pleased," so I think I'm fine. I got a few laughs, so that's good as well. Got a big luxurious meal with Thian-Peng for dinner, and went to Future Shop to play with things afterwards. We all need some rest. Oh, and apparently I'll be leading the Bible study for our group for the rest of this term...how the heck did that happen? Considering that I was very much incompetent in doing that a year ago, this was a miracle indeed...

Thursday February 12
Dragged the car to the shop, took their shuttle back home, and then one hour later, they said it's done. What? Are you kidding me? So I had to employ Bobby to get me there to get the car back, as MuTao was still fast asleep. I feel better about the car now, so that's nice. Eventually took on a Costco trip and went to see MuTao's desktop...interesting.

Wednesday February 11
Presentation numero uno. Not bad, I think. Went to Conrad Grebel to wait for a concert. I wasn't paying too much attention in the concert, as I was more concerned about the bbs to follow. Another rushed bbs prep ended up with 4 people showing up to the study. Back to last semester's attendance level, I guess. Not sure if it's a good thing or not... Spent most of the evening at Aaron's for chicken and med school.

Tuesday February 10
That super busy day. Still quite depressed, actually. Duke was funny, though.

Monday February 9
Ah, the breakdown of MuTao. Just what I need.

Sunday February 8
Just, not a good Sunday, I think. Still extremely concerned that he skipped church for two weeks now. Another day to forget, I guess.

Saturday February 7
Went to Thian-Peng's for Bible study pre-study thingy, and had fun with Francis and Bobby. It was really funny when Francis heard about TP and Bobby's experiences in OS...haha. Our group size was incredibly small this time around: 4 people. Sigh...just reminds me so much of bbs. Sinnie eventually joined us, so that was fine. I think it went well...so to speak.

I feel so dumb about reminding someone, who has been a Christian for most of his life and whose father is a pastor, to (at the very least) go to church on Sunday. Silly me. What was I thinking?

There was a little discussion on the things that I don't "touch"...and apparently there are a bunch of them. Here are some that were listed yesterday, and some more:

--> Alcohol.
--> Gums. (Haven't had one in ten-plus years, I believe.)
--> Cigarette.
--> Movies. (Or, more specifically, movie theatres.)
--> North American clothing. (Well, except jeans, I guess.)
--> Weapons.
--> Most sports.
--> Hair gel.
--> Pop music.
--> WinXP.

One word that most suitably described my lifestyle: procrastination.

After tomorrow, I'll probably make a T-shirt that says "I Survived The Overwhelmingly Unbearable Relationship Lectures This Valentines Weekend."

I don't take compliments well...

Presentation over. Now, off to programming integers. Getting really dizzy again...sigh...

I don't know how I got myself into such physical exhaustion that I had nearly a panic attack when bringing up the goods from Costco upstais and trying to fix a quick meal. Must have been the salad breakfast and the Danish lunch and the lack of naps...

Now that the car is maintained, I feel like going somewhere...so where can I go? Nowhere...sigh...

Car's in the shop. For the first time ever...

I am a bit anxious about the presentation that will go on today. On one hand, I know the material. On the other hand, I'm not sure I would say the most basic things, since I already know so much. Also, during rehearsal today, I keep forgetting to mention minor points and I was really nervous and don't know how to say things properly. Hmm...it will be interesting.

Not sure how these kwcacmyfbbs's get pulled out of the hat...it's amazing how much God works toward an inept person like me.

Within a time frame of about two hours, two people asked about the date of mesister's recital, when nobody has asked about it before, ever. Seems so strange... Is there any significance about that? I don't believe anything is coincidental...

This would be the half-year anniversary since I started keeping this journal. That's longer than any of the journal I've ever attempted. Compared with what I wrote six months ago, however, I do find my creativity has gone down a bit. Boy, that was a long tough semi-year...

Tomorrow: (please don't start singing...)

9AM -- Clean my room.
10AM -- Meet the supervisor.
11AM -- Presentation preview.
12PM -- Office hour.
1PM -- Start relaxing.
1.1PM -- Stop relaxing.
2.5PM -- Class.
4.5PM -- Go see doctor. (No, I'm not seeing the doctor, it's this other dude who would like to see the doctor. He's in self-defeatist mode, so pray for him, will you? The dude, not the doctor.)
6PM -- Come home and sleep and forget about another awful day.
8PM -- Start preparing kwcacmyfbbs. Oh wait, the day's not over yet...sigh...

I knew my interpersonal communication skills suck...big time. Wonder why I have friends at all...

I know full well that the purpose of going to church on Sunday is not so that I can talk to people...not even close...but................................

Long post ahead...

Overall a much better week emotionally than the last one. However, the energy drain is huge this time around.

Friday February 6
Tons of marking in the morning. Heater came back on. Prep for presentation in the afternoon. Surprisingly coincidental calls to MuTao. He had no idea I called from the office since I called right after he left a message in my answering machine...at home. Got home at around 6, and was immediately called to perform the duty of eating free food at church. Really felt the headache from the tiredness there, so came home to had a nice long sleep. 9 hours, I believe. Oh, yeah, I got the bound thesis today. They look...nice, but nothing special...except the fact that something I wrote finally got into a hardcover... Oh, yeah, one member of the presentation team backed out of the team due to eye surgery. So now it's Alex and I against the multiplier theorem...it's going to be a long hard road...

Thursday February 5
Marking and sleeping. Got a cramp on my right leg. Heater went off. Nothing interesting. Moving on...

Wednesday February 4
Marking. (Is this a trend or something?) Had to really rush in the prep of kwcacmyfbbs, actually. Really started at around 12, and had to get it done by 4. Eventually it was managed, but I didn't like how the bbs went, though. I don't think I got my point across, and there were just too much off-topic talks. I don't know, before, the off-topics are usually Christian-related topics, and now the off-topics are just bizarre. Anyway. Got a nice dinner at Aaron's afterwards, and spent some time there for more marking. Woohoo! By the way, the return of the designs paper really boosted my energy during the prep of bbs, which is really nice. God places support at precisely the time needed. Imagine that.

Tuesday February 3
Found out that Timeless is time limited, and Bubble Tease is no joke.

Monday February 2
Early morning presentation prep team ended up in disaster as Alex failed to show up. Berkant was laughingly angry, and I was just laughing. Frantic search for an answer to an integer programming question that was never found. After the assignment was handed in, I found one mistake in my solution...great. Handed in contract.

Sunday February 1
Church. Late trip to Cambridge. Home. Still feeling residues from the previous day.

Saturday January 31
A day to forget, I guess. Alone for much of the day. Got myself really depressed, and went traveling for a while. I decided to stay depressed throughout the whole evening, so that got some unnecessary attention. It's really too bad that I didn't get to talk to Peter and Andrew much...

Friday January 30
Nothing interesting. Except in MathNews, deKlerk said "We don't need slaves...we have TAs." That hit particularly close to home as I am his TA...that gave me a huge laugh...

3 questions, 142 papers, 13.5 hours (not counting breaks) = one semi-aggravated and tired TA. Total span of time from start to finish is 30 hours. So essentially, I spent more than a third out of this time span on marking. Outside of marking, I even went to classes, prepared a Bible study, got out for dinner, and squeezed in about 13 hours of sleep. Man, that was an incredibly packed days... No time for relaxation, though, as there is a presentation and a supervisor meeting next week. Sigh...maybe I should quit this whole grad school thing...

Congratulations, car, for hitting the enormously big 8K! You hit it at around Laurier while taking Aaron home. Now you really need a maintenance... 36 days is all it took for this K, which is (very likely) the longest stretch of time for a K.

Having the paper back just now is like a splendid oasis amongst a vast area of desert. It's amazing how the Lord can give such surprises during these down times.

Not sure why I'm just so tired these days...

Wow...a +1 temperature...haven't had that, well, this year... Snow melting (or at least going soft), unfortunately.

Alas, I decided not to pass up the opportunity for guarantee housing. And that's my final answer. No more changing minds. Hopefully. Not going to drive myself crazy (again) over such a trivial thing. Bottom line: all I need is a place to stay, and there's this reasonable place that I can stay. So, there I go...

Now back to regularly scheduled integer programming...(get it?)

Boy, I'm so good at making quick decisions...(sarcasm)