With a lot of pain, I finally completed and sent out two job applications. It’s a great relief, and the application process will be much easier from now on. I never knew this could be done…but somehow it is done. I don’t know what will happen to these applications, but it’s not in my hands anymore (or should I say, it never was), so I shouldn’t worry.
So…now what?
Oh…right, there’s still work to do…I forgot about that…
Making job applications reminds me of those days when I was writing scholarship applications… The same nauseating feeling that made me want to throw up, and the same slowness in producing any throw-up-worthy writing…yikes.
I’ve been sleeping a lot… At least 7 hours a night, and now on average twice in the office during the daytime. I also get tired quickly. Looks like the lack of any exercise is catching up to me again…boo.
There’s nothing like a sudden deadline to make me start working again…
While I keep mulling over life issues, the clock ticks away ruthlessly…
The wheels on the bus go round and round…except they never come my way.
Teaching philosophy? What teaching philosophy? I don’t have one…
While my parents were here, we discussed the possibility that if a cheap flight to Taiwan comes up, then taking it would give me enough miles to get a free trip to Taiwan, plus get AC Elite status again next year. They encouraged this, and Roger found cheap flights in November, so I pulled the trigger, said goodbye to about $1200, and booked a flight. It’s probably the cheapest ticket I’ve booked so far with the YYZ–>TPE route. Sure, others may have cheaper tickets before, but they always route the flights in the States and require at least 3 flights to get there… So, I think this is ok.
I’m trying to think, there had been a pattern to my series of depressions… They all seem to happen whenever I start serving the youth group seriously with Bible studies and stuff, and then to a point where I want to give up…
Procrastination…bad.
Parents left this morning, and that’s the end of their visit. It was tiring. I don’t know what else to say about their visit, except maybe that I’ve gained some more weight now…
I finally decided that I’m not going to Annie’s wedding. The reason is simple: the way she treated me through the years and through this pre-wedding period annoyed me way too much. As much as I’d love to see the friends gathering for this wedding, I have to pass. I think I’ll regret this decision. But nobody would care anyway.
And now I’m depressed…the thoughts coming through: “I’m not good enough to be anyone’s friend”; “I ruin too many friendships, might as well not start anymore”; “I can’t do anything”; “Things I want to do, I can’t do; things that I don’t want to do, I must do”; “I really don’t know why I’m still living”…
Second half of parents’ visit… Monday: Dad picked up his PR card, which is the original purpose for coming here. It was surprisingly easy, so that’s very good. Took them to Hidden Valley to see monster homes, and also discovered some good tree-viewing locations. Went to malls and I ended up getting 3 pairs of winter shoes! Lunch was at Keg, which was nice, and this was mom’s second birthday meal. Afternoon at Chapters and Wholesale, home for sleep and laundry, and finally a dinner from dad ends the day early…
Tuesday: Yesterday ended early since we were supposed to leave at 5am to go to Algonquin! Ok, so this is my second trip within one week, so it’s kind of crazy for me, but not so much. Supposed to leave at 5, but ended up leaving at 5:30 (just like last week) and hit traffic jam in Mississauga, of course…but it wasn’t too bad, really. Algonquin was awesomely awesome! Even nicer than last week! Lots of nice spots. The weather cooperated by staying cloudy, and only started raining after we were leaving! Very beautiful right now, but I’m sure next week will be even better…so…take another trip next week? Hotel at Deer Hurst Resort, which is nice. Dinner there was ok, expensive, though. Spent the rest of the night in the room. It was raining all night, along with thunderstorms…
Wednesday: Didn’t leave the hotel until 11am, and wandered around for some more wonderful scenery. Lunch at a Chinese buffet in Huntsville (gasp!), wasn’t that good. Headed to Vaughan Mills with very windy conditions on the highway. Really tested my steering wheel gripping skills. Dad didn’t feel good at the mall, so that had to cut short to visit Mary early, see her kid Esther again, then off we went to the hotel near the airport. Ok, fine, it’s free, so I shouldn’t complain about the noise and smell…heh. Made it to T&T and back (surprisingly far from here), and here I am typing away. They are leaving early tomorrow morning, and I will no longer have any excuses for delaying whatever I’m supposed to be doing…sigh… Why isn’t there a job that I want to apply for? Hmm… Oh well.
Parents are still here and were here for a few days. Lots of things happened. Friday: They arrived (on separate planes, which they didn’t realize until I told them 40 minutes before their first scheduled flight…) and AC lost one luggage. So in waiting for the luggage, I paid a premium price of $15 to airport parking. The rest of the night went ok.
Saturday: Walked around the neighbourhood to check out the exterior of houses for sale. Dad likes the 420K ones, which we couldn’t afford, of course. Scrambled to find people to treat for lunch, and ended up with 8 people at sushi buffet. Not too bad a meal, actually, I just eat a ton of eel. Afternoon open house searching under huge rain…somehow the houses we went to got bigger and bigger, ended up visiting one that’s selling for 580K! Yeah, it’s all for fun. Early evening jetlag sleep for them, and then a dinner at a Chinese place, watched the moon for a little bit (it is Mid-Autumn Moon thing), made a visit to William’s, then St Jerome’s (just because I’m applying for a job there), and that’s about it.
Sunday: Morning nothingness. Sleepy church service. Broke my Ben Thanh boycott for lunch (because Keg wasn’t open). New City Supermarket for groceries, which was used to make a huge meal for dinner for the “adults”… Took a lot of time to prepare the meal, ended up having 10 people at the dinner table (3 more later), and about 10 dishes, plus 2 cakes, since it was my mom’s birthday. Lots of photography going on, so much so that they felt like it was a press conference. Short poker downstairs, which is always dissatisfying since it’s short and it always ended up being a shovefest. Mom had a good birthday, and that’s good.